My face has been wet with tears for months. I constantly try to understand how people can be so mean without remorse. It doesn't matter what someone said or did - is it really justifiable to make them cry? When did we become so ruthless? Instead of empathy, we retreat to our feelings of anger and hate. We find refuge here. Why?…
I think one of the most important things I have learned to do throughout this process is to give myself permission to feel whatever I am feeling. I am notorious for being flooded with emotions from my trauma and then feeling shameful for feeling those emotions in the first place. I am not sure when in society the expression or experience of…
I met my now ex-husband in April 2012. We had met on OkCupid and had been texting back and forth. The first time he asked me out on a date, I rescheduled at the last minute because I was working on my master's thesis. The second time he invited me over for a bonfire at his place and I decided to go…
There are still days I wonder why he gets to go on with life like nothing happened when my life will never be the same. My life will always be filled with the trauma of his choices. The nightmares. The unidentified triggers. The tears. The knot in my stomach. The feelings of fear. I work through what I believe to be all…
It's a knot in my stomach so tight it feels like a medical emergency. It's nausea that rises to the top of my throat and stays there. It's migraine headaches that force me to stay in entirely silent, dark rooms until the pain subsides. Then there's the fatigue. Chronic, horrible fatigue. The fatigue you get when you have awful flu and then…
