Forgetting Forgiveness

I think we have all been bombarded with Facebook posts and conversations about forgiveness and how it is the most important key to our own healing and happiness. I never questioned it before. I mean, it sounds reasonable, right? True forgiveness has the ability to free us of the hurt, pain, and anger we hold onto as a result of some type…

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The Sifter

Sometimes I wish there was a sifting device for my brain. Something that would catch all of the clumps of the fears and insecurities that were formed from my abuse. I wish I could assure my current partner that these clumps will never fall through. That he will never have to experience my panic attacks, my nightmares, and the times my brain…

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The Metamorphosis of Change

Change is devastatingly hard, but I think for the first time in my life I have faith in my wings and not the branch. Don’t get me wrong – the pain, the grief, the agony are all still very raw. Sometimes I feel like I am so mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted from crying that I have become a spectator of my…

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A Survivor Story: Anonymous

"You took my innocence. You took my happiness. You took my faith in God. You took what should have been my college experience. February 14th 2013. Valentine’s day. You told me that if I didn’t kiss you on valentine’s day I was a bad girlfriend. I just wasn’t ready yet. Memorial Day 2013. I invited you over to my house because dad…

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A Survivor Story: Krissy

Krissy is a 45 year old mother of three. Her main goal in sharing her story is to continue her journey to healing and hopefully help someone else heal.  I then went to close the side door, and he pushed me in.  I couldn't understand what was going on.  He then grabbed my hands and threw me to the floor of the…

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A Survivor Story: Marianne Harris’ Victim Impact Statement

After writing and rewriting my impact statement for sentencing, this is my finished product. I felt it needed to be more personal and what he did to me needs to be known. "Your Honor, My name is Marianne Harris. I am 40 years old. I met Dennis in early September of 2006. I was 28 years old. My ex husband was arrested…

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A Child Survivor Story: Jacob Harris, Age 14

Jacob Harris, with permission from his mother, asked to share his Victim Impact Statement he provided in his abuser's hearing on Survivorhood. Jake was between the ages of 5 months to 11 years old when he endured his abuse. He is sharing his story so other kids know that they aren't alone. "There was a time my mom was cooking bacon for…

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What to do if the COVID-19 Requirement of Wearing a Face Mask is Triggering

I recently had a member of the Survivorhood community reach out for assistance. Krissy Botscharow LaPorte is a survivor of sexual assault and found that wearing a face mask, as required by her state government to protect against the Coronavirus, is quite triggering. Krissy is the inspiration behind this post. Her courage in coming forward to ask for guidance brought to light…

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A Child Survivor Story: Joshua Harris, Age 15

Joshua Harris, with permission from his mother, asked to share his Victim Impact Statement he provided in his abuser's hearing on Survivorhood. Josh was between the ages of 2 to 13 when he endured his abuse. He is sharing his story in his words in hopes to help others and so that other kids don't feel alone in their struggles. "I felt…

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Who Are You Standing Next To?

"In my opinion, this is the most fucked up part of our recovery. We come to believe we wore something we shouldn't have, trusted too easily, or stood up for ourselves too fiercely. We literally blame ourselves for the trauma someone else caused by their intentional violation. It's absurd when you think about it. While I appreciate others assuming I have the…

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